THESE POCKET-SIZED PRI**S WILL CUT YOU!
The little people? What’s their deal? North Korea is about to launch nuclear weaponry onto our actual faces and we’re bringing ethereal tiny b**tards for the war? Come on. Yet, perhaps we shouldn’t be so dismissive of these mercurial midgets.
Don’t lie; you greet them each and every time you head past the Fairy Bridge. And, quite right too. These little psychopaths may appear whimsical but, in reality, such is their rabid tempestuousness, they curse and condemn you to death lest you not greet them with a simple “Hello, fairies”. Just look at what they did to the Fairy Bridge tree!!
One yuppie comeover co*kwomble disobeys the rules and now we all pay the price. THESE POCKET-SIZED PRI**S WILL CUT YOU! They’re the Mafia of the Man Isle, leaving us only one forgotten bribe away from Shergar’s equine noggin landing in the bed. Chuck them some coins to keep them content or they might F***NG KILL YOU. Seems reasonable. Exactly the kind of unpredictable hotheads we need on our side.