“We know that being a redhead is something special”.
So says Tristan Rodgers, founder of MC1R, the world’s first magazine all about gingers. The Hamburg based art student has brought together an often ostracised community and celebrated the difference that unites them. MC1R – named after the recessive gene that creates hairy crimson magic – started as a photography project among friends but has expanded to a ginger-centric celebration –
“Each issue deals with red hair and everything relating to it”
said Rodgers. When GTM contacted Rodgers for reports of a future issue focusing on the complex and nuanced issue of ginger pubes, he was, sadly, unavailable for comment.
Regular readers may not be aware of this but I am a man of the ginger cloth, myself. GTM is an equal opportunities employer and I will be forever grateful to them. As I’m sure all our flame haired readers out there will testify, we’ve had our fair share of knocks over the years. Nicknames such as Ginger Balls, Gingivitis, Firestarter Twisted Firestarter, Carrot crotch, Matchstick Mike, Ranga, Daywalker and Rusty the Snowman have been hurled at us and now, we’ve had enough. Thanks to the likes of MC1R, Josh Homme and Dr Quinn: Medicine Woman, it’s never been a better time to have a blazin’ mane. Check out these ruby realities.
- Redheads make up only 2% of the world’s population. That means 98% of the world lives in a state of constant fear/arousal.
- After the infamous “Kick a Ginger Day” went viral across schools, President of the ‘National Society for Freckle Faced Fellas’, Prince Harry issued a fine riposte: ‘Kick a Guy Who Kicks a Ginger Day’. Interestingly enough, it’s on the very same day.
- Scotland boasts the highest percentage of natural gingers. This explains why Irn Bru’s top secret primary ingredient is the tears of Scottish toddlers.
- Ancient Egyptians would sacrifice red-haired men on the tomb of Osiris as red was the colour associated with ‘Set’ – the Egyptian Satan. Seems reasonable.
- The crew on the Titanic were led by lauded Commander Bjornus Stig Inge Bjornusson. The fiery crimson thatched Icelander insisted on an all ginger crew. 83% of his team came from the small town of Dumfries.
- Both parents must be carriers of the aforementioned MC1R gene to produce a ginger sprogling. There’s actually a 25% chance if neither parents have red hair themselves. I have two kids – both blondies. I’ll never forgive them for such a betrayal.
- Scientists have discovered that if an orang-utan and a red haired human breed, Ed Sheeran is formed.
- Blue eyes and ginger hair is the rarest hair eye combination on Earth. That’s me! STUDY ME BOFFINS! MARVEL AT MY MAJESTY!
- Would it shock you to learn that Michael Jackson was, in fact, born as a ginger man?
- We have superpowers! Not only do the gingoids produce their own Vitamin D in periods of low light, they can change temperature quicker than non-inferno-heads as they are more sensitive to heat volatility. Bow before the Ginger Ones you mere Earthlings.
- The infamous “Red Wedding” episode in Game of Thrones was based on the crazed creator’s fantasies of ginger slaying. Bearded sociopath George R R Martin claimed he would have vivid dreams of killing hundreds of gingers in one foul swoop. The show’s producers overruled him on this one, thankfully.
So, this week, why not befriend a redhead? Talk to them, watch how they move, observe them from afar and learn from them. It’s for your own self-preservation as surely it is only a matter of time before the Ginger Uprising.