The winner of the new National Dish for the Isle of Man has been revealed this weekend as Queenies, congrats!
While we all love Queenies, we were of course expecting it to be CC&G. We can only put the loss down to Canada f*ckin the job up for us by calling it POUTINE.
The much-debated topic of cultural appropriation has been highlighted recently in the media. Everyone’s at it, mere weeks ago pukka-as-a-pie Jamie Oliver caused furore with that whole jerk-rice debacle. The importance of authenticity in preserving one’s culture and in turn, of others misrepresenting that national identity cannot be understated.
Which is why it is no surprise to discover the Isle of Man is launching a no holds barred onslaught against cheating, robbing, thieving Canada.
The supposedly mild-mannered Canucks can’t fool us. Sure they gave us Ryan Reynolds, Alanis Morrisette and Neil Young but we must always be wary of a country that forced Nickelback down our ear lugs. Only a Satanic sorceress could conjure such a repellent sonic migraine of odiousness.
Suddenly, it makes sense they’ve stolen our national dish. Sure, they’ve rebranded it with a fancy French name that sounds vaguely sexy but we all know what it is. Screw you, Poutine. Throwing some “cheese curds” and infiltrating London hipster café’s is all very well and good but we know your game.
We urge you Canada to BACK THE HECK DOWN. Or feel the wrath of the Manx Avengers…